So instead, I'm thinking about a friend who left my life over thirteen years ago, let's call her L. (Thirteen years? When did that happen?). She was one of my best friends from high school, but when we all went to college, she decided that she wanted a clean slate, and got rid of all her friends from high school.
One of our friends (S) was dumped because L didn't like S's boyfriend. Another friend was cut off because she was still friends with S and me.
She stopped speaking to me because when I came home on a break, that happened to be her birthday, I didn't make enough of an effort to see her. My calling multiple times and leaving messages just wasn't good enough.
I know that that was just a lame excuse, and I'll probably never know the real reason she didn't want to see me again.
I did see her once, about nine years ago, while on a date with my (now) husband. She was having dinner with her parents, brother, and who I assumed was her boyfriend. I spent the entire night flipping out about being there in the same restaurant. I never spoke to her, and she never spoke to me.
Then about four years ago, I was catching the train to work, and was thrilled to find an available seat. It wasn't until after I sat down that I realized that I was sitting next to L's father. This time I wasn't able avoid a conversation, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I asked how everyone was doing, and I was thrilled to be at a pretty impressive place in my life.
I still have not spoken to L. I don't know what I would do if I did. I do think that way too much time has gone by for us to ever really be friends again.
I think about her every once in a while, and I miss her. But then I think about how she got rid of me and I realize that I am better off the way things are now.
I've had a similar experience and it stinks to not get any closure or reason. But you are totally right. You are so much better off without her, even if the split was painful. Thanks for sharing a story I am sure wasn't easy to write.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience with my best friend growing up. Now she lives in a neighboring state and we are friends on FB. I saw she was coming to town by her posts, and I wrote her and said we should meet for lunch. We had both changed but it was fun to catch up some, and just see how much things were the same so many years ago. She isn't a close friend by far, but still it is wonderful to know she is a friend still.
ReplyDeleteI chose the same prompt. I actually reconnected a bit with an old friend, but somehow we never stay in contact. Guess it's just best to leave things alone sometimes.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that the strangest thing, seeing someone years after a falling out? Sounds like you are better off without her.
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday for my SITS day!